The Parent Trap - A Bonus Section

---

Money Trap #1 - The Parent Trap

Here’s a common Money Trap that almost no one sees coming until it’s too late. We call it “The Parent Trap.” Parents spend 18 years of their lives helping their child get into college. But as soon as the first semester begins, the college slams the door, pulls the shutters closed, and builds a “firewall” of protection so heavy it would even keep the Russians from interfering with the U.S. elections. What is the purpose of all this security? It’s to keep parents from discovering anything about their child’s college career. That’s right, the day you drop your kid off at college, you are on the outside – even if you are the ones footing the bill. 

• Did your kid switch his Major from Pre-Med to Ancient Bolivian History? You’ll never know… 

• Has your daughter stopped attending classes? You’ll never know…

 • Did your son sign for an additional Student Loan? You’ll never know…

You Were the Ones Who Got Them There

You’ve worked hard to get your kids into the right college. You sent them to the best schools you could afford. You may have even moved to find a better school district. You supported all their extracurricular activities, and attended hundreds of soccer games, concerts, school plays, etc. You were at every PTA meeting because you wanted to make sure you were involved. You stayed up late while she studied for an AP exam, hired tutors for the SAT exam, and got him special help when he was struggling with that Algebra course.

When it came time for visiting colleges, you not only dragged him around, you took three of his friends with you because their parents were too busy. You bought sweatshirts from the bookstores where she expressed high interest in the school, and bought key chains from the bookstores where she had no interest. But still… just in case…

You cried at the thin letters and jumped up and down with excitement when the “fat” envelope arrived. You paid for application fees, put down deposits, purchased game tickets for that special weekend, and rented a van to bring his stuff to school.

You Even Filled Out The FAFSA

In your biggest pre-tuition payment feat of all, you filled out the FAFSA – by the deadline. You had to disclose all of your financial affairs. The IRS was alerted when you submitted the FAFSA, and there was an automatic link from your Federal IRS Tax return to the FAFSA.  

If you own a business of any size, you are now required to declare ALL of the assets on the FAFSA. Do you have a family farm? Did you know that you now need to enter the estimated value of crops that are still in the fields? If that wheat crop is ready to harvest, it’s worth a lot of money. And it’s probably going to cost you a lot of money, as you will doubtless get less Financial Aid for your kid. And in an insult to the middle class, (or maybe just to punish you for being successful), any money you saved up for your kid in a 529 account counts against her when it comes to Financial Aid. 

Are you divorced? Well… the college wants to know that too, and they want to know who is taking care of their kid. (Yes, I said “their kid.” You see, the college is already considering him/her as “their” kid, because they will soon take over as the parent!)

Did You Borrow Money to Pay for Your Kids’ Education?

Did you ever hear of a “Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students” – a PLUS loan? It’s signed for by the parents, who are personally responsible for it. Many families need it. And soon, many MORE will need it, as the FAFSA no longer takes into account whether you have multiple children in college when assessing the student’s need for Financial Aid. What’s that?  You now have two kids in college at the same time? Too bad. Previously that would have increased the amount of aid your kid could get. Now it doesn’t count at all! 

I Keep Sending in Checks, and This is the Sixth Year 

Like all professors, Bill and Joe have heard financial horror stories. For example, a few years ago, a mother contacted Bill and said she had been sending in a check for $8,000 each semester for over six years, and she wanted to know why her daughter hadn’t graduated yet. Bill looked up the daughter’s transcripts and discovered that she had “withdrawn” from a statistics class four times! The daughter still hadn’t managed to pass the class. She was now in it for the fifth time, and this was the fifth time the mother had paid for it. But because of FERPA (Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act) laws, Bill couldn’t tell the mom what the problem was. (BTW, the daughter had withdrawn from other courses multiple times as well.) 

How was the issue resolved? Bill personally contacted the student and asked her to talk with her mother. The student agreed, and Bill had a conversation with the two of them. The daughter eventually graduated, but she spent a LOT of extra money. No wait… her MOM spent a lot of extra money!

Who Gives Your Student Advice? 

Each college we know has an advising program. They could be professional advisors, or they could be faculty members. Both Joe and Bill are tightly connected to the professional advisors at their colleges. Both use professional advisors almost every semester to answer technical questions about the number of credits needed, graduation requirements, etc. And both Joe and Bill are heavily involved in advising their students. 

If you have a son or daughter who is going to college, make sure they see their advisor every semester. But be aware, there could be conflicts of interests when faculty members advise students. For example, it is much more likely that a faculty member will recommend their own courses or Major over another faculty member’s courses or Major. It’s just a natural thing to do. But it isn’t always in the best interest of the student, and it can end up costing you money. Students assigned to a professor’s courses equals job security. No students in your course equals no paycheck.

Teach Your Kid to Use Resources – And Get Feedback!

We strongly suggest that you remain involved in your kid’s college course choices each semester. Get to know the guidelines for fulfilling transcript requirements, maintaining scholarships and financial aid, graduating, etc. It takes a bit of work, but it’s worth it. 

The college will be giving your son or daughter a list of requirements each semester. Sit down with your child and ask questions. Use resources like the university’s advising center. They can give you information if your child approves you to have access to it. Make that “approval” a condition of giving your kid the thousands of dollars they need to attend college. It’s the responsible thing to do.

You can also do independent research on your child’s professors, course requirements, etc. The college’s website has all the information you need. In addition, use things like “Rate My Professor” to get valuable (although sometimes skewed) information about the professors your kid is taking courses from. For example, English may not be some professors’ first language. This may present obstacles for your son or daughter to learn the content covered in the course. But you can also get information on the more popular professors and find out why they are popular. Maybe they teach a course that’s an “easy A” with very little work. Maybe the course is more difficult, but the professor is a great teacher. If you’re paying the bills, you might want to know this!

What Are YOUR Required Courses?

If you are paying for your child’s college, go through the curriculum and look for courses that YOU require the student to take. For example, we think every college student today should take an accounting class. But there are many classes - Computer Programming, Artificial Intelligence, Oral and Written Communications, and Financial Literacy – that would be valuable to your son or daughter. 

After Reading This Book…

Hey, we expect you will want your kid to do a lot of things differently after you read this book! College is expensive. Unless you and your student are careful, you can spend a lot of money, and a lot of time, and get next to nothing from the college investment. Worse, if the college is teaching your child to “Think Poor” (and many do), it could end up costing you thousands of extra dollars – not just for the four years of college, but when you end up supporting your kid who is now living in your basement!

Our Advice to Parents

Parents, if you are paying for part or all of your kid’s college expenses, you need to set up your expectations early and stick to them. Don’t let that 18-year old kid get lost. Colleges make a LOT of extra money when students make mistakes - mistakes like taking a double-Major, adding a Minor, dropping out of classes after the deadline, etc. Your kid may technically be an adult, but they still need your guidance.